Respect, Trust, Love and the Lack Thereof

 "You need to teach that horse some respect," the man belched with a hint of booze on his breath.  He then  snatched the lead rope away and promptly punched the horse in the face.

Respect-

That story was told to me from a client whose horse did need to learn to respect his space, but did not need a fist in her jaw.  My hope is that I can help clarify how to ask for respect from a horse and why we need it.  I too often see horses that have learned to walk all over their owners and still manage to get treats for it.  Talk about training, that is impressive.

I firmly believe that you need to be the leader in your relationship with your horse, with no exceptions.  It all starts with moving your horse around.  If I start working with a new horse, I take them to the round pen just to see what they know.  Most owners longe their horses in some aspect, but if they call me they are probably lacking in getting what they want from them.  I will remove the lead line from the horse so I am no longer in physical control of him.  I look to see how the horse reacts to being loose.  Is he still paying attention to me, or is he wandering around then pen without a second thought as to what I am doing?

Here is where the work begins.  With a longe whip, lead rope, stick with rope, etc, I ask the horse to move.  Most people have this part down.  This is where the uneducated horse is running around with his head half over the rails, doing what you've asked but a bit resentful about the whole thing.  I will keep him at a canter until he is consistently breaking down to a trot, or is going in the opposite direction and running like I all of a sudden have turned into a starved, horse-eating Frenchman.  All the while, I stay in a trailing position so I am not impeding the horse’s forward momentum or giving him a place to turn around.  Now, when I've decided to turn, I'll stop trailing him and move into a position where I am blocking his forward progress.  A couple things can happen here:  the horse can slow down and come towards you quietly; the horse can turn towards the rail like he is thinking about jumping it rather than come toward you; or he can not react and keep on doing what he was doing, like you're not even there.  Most of the time the second two happen.  If he keeps coming towards you, start getting louder and don't let yourself be ignored, dammit!  I would rather the horse do the wrong thing then blow you off.  So if you have to swing the whip towards his front end to get some reaction, go ahead.  Now that we are getting some attention, even if it is fear or spite, we can move on.
So, we have turned the horse, but in response he turned his hind end towards us and ran away.  I would immediately cut off the other side of the round pen and again send him back in the direction he was going.  Keep going back and forth and start looking for the horse to try something different.  As long as you are making the wrong decision uncomfortable and not letting up pressure, he will try something else.  Be looking for it.  It normally starts with a head moving towards the inside, instead of over the rail.  If you get a hint that it is about to happen say, "Good, good," and don't give up now until you get that front end to move in towards you.
There!
Finally!
Take the pressure off, go back into that trailing position and be quiet, but keep the horse moving.  It seems to me as long as you give it a break, that first turn will be the most difficult and all the others will come easier.  When you are ready try again.  Most likely he will again turn away, but should be easier to switch back and also turn in.  Remember, keep the pressure on until you get what you want.  Say to yourself, “If I have to send him back and forth a hundred times, by George I'm going to do it.”

Now you have him changing directions, but he is still showing no desire to be the peaceful, quiet soul mate that you paid for him to be.  Breathe, you are almost there.  Keep the horse moving and start to pay attention to his body language.  When you turn him in the opposite direction, is he still moving away with the same energy or is it not that bad?  Maybe instead of cantering and throwing a kick and fart in your face, he trotted away easily.  When you decide to try for a stop, ask for him to change directions but this time back away quickly when he turns towards you.  Keep doing this, even if the horse is only making half laps in the pen until he stops directly facing you.  You are probably on one side of the pen and your horse is on the other.  Breathe.  The two of you can take a break here.  You have just made enormous strides in gaining respect and moving to a place of trust.

Trust-

Photo by: Alex Ahonen

 Stay where you are.  If you've done everything right he has no desire to go anywhere right at this moment.  I can't tell you what he is thinking, but to me it seems this is the moment that he learns to trust you.  It feels quiet and calm.  We are both breathing heavy, facing each other, not sure what comes next.  Here is where I approach.  Some say to turn your back and wait, but I find you can get the same bond approaching the horse as you can from letting him do it.  Move slow, keep your body language quiet.  If at any time you feel like he is about to take off, back away. Try again.  Move towards the horse’s head and stop.  You should be close enough to extend your arm and touch him.  Extend your hand palm down towards his muzzle and put it out there for him to touch.  Wait.  It will happen.  Wait.  He is making the decision to trust you.

Love-

Soft breath touches the back of your hand. Your heart and his are still beating hard.  He just made contact with you.  He just told you it is okay for you to touch him.  Be gentle, but firm.  Pet him but don't stay too long.  Back off.  Wait.  Approach him again.  Ask him to touch your hand again.  Talk to him softly, so no one can hear but the two of you.  Keep petting.  Make your affection and touch something that he craves.  Back off again.

Look at him.  Is he wandering around the round pen trying to find some blade of grass?  Is he calling to some random horse?  Is he looking at you?  Is he focused on you?  These moments are some of the deepest moments I have ever felt.  Soak it in.
Remember what it took to get to this point.  You didn't get here by brushing him.   You didn't get here by giving him the most treats or by paying for the most expensive board. You got here by being firm with what you want and not wavering until you got it. Then, when he complied you offered your approval and praise.